Finding me...

This past week was full of High's and Low's....Okay mostly low's. The great part of my week was having my little sister stay with me for a few days. The low's were my kids having the worst week of their lives with ATTITUDE. I hate it when all my kids decide at the same time to act as worse they possibly can. Jack flew out on Sunday and ironically that is when the children decided to act like loonies. I thought with a little one on one, or TLC, maybe the Park, reading, movie time, would maybe help them. Oh, no it was non-stop bickering, fighting, Harry not listening, Everett not listening (he is usually my angel) and well, I really can't lump Jane into the same group as her brothers because she is by definition '"Perrfect" I checked in the dictionary and sure enough under Perfect was Jane's picture, so there you have it. Anyway, back to HARRY, I  was tested this week with this little man in ways I didn't know possible. I have never been a harder parent, meaner, and down-right frustrated as I was this week with him. None of it worked too. No matter how many time-outs I gave, no matter how many spanks (oh geez, report me. I never spank unless it is absolutely necsessary). He didn't flinch  a bit with any of my tactics. He would just look at me, scowl and say "You go-time out mommy!" awesome. I wish, then maybe I could have a minute of peace. As I worked on keeping the peace in my home this week (to no avail) I finally dove into my project that had been sitting in my garage for the past three weeks. It was therapy. Every night I would put the kids to bed and busy myself with sanding, painting, filling in holes, hammering, pulling apart, bleeding, and cussing in 300 degree weather. Again, I had my sister with me and we had so much fun, I love her, I just wish she didn't have to see me on my Worst week of parenthood to date. 

            This week I was a boat being tossed on a treacherous ocean. Battered, abused, mistreated, and feeling like I had no control as desperately as I tried to sail my way through the gigantic waves. I gave all my energy this week to no avail. By Friday Jack came home and the waters started to calm. But still being tossed about a bit. Then the skies cleared and by Saturday we all had a wonderful day, having lunch with my Grandparents, Dad, and Rebekah. Then coming home and heading  up the canyon with friends for dinner. The kids did well, no major tantrums. I am so glad the week ended well. Storms are horrible. I know without them we wouldn't have the life and beauty we enjoy. It's hard to be grateful for them when you are in them. But boy isn't it beautiful looking back and seeing what you just came through. 

        That piece of furniture that I worked on every night I completed. I worked hard on it, it became an obsession every night. With scraping, smoothing, tightening joints, painting, and finally the finishing touches, I placed it in the most perfect spot in the house. I didn't realize how much I needed to do this project. I didn't stop until it was perfect. It was something I could control with all of the lack of control I was having. I need to  to work on smoothing myself, repainting, and fixing wobbles. Then ever so carefully place myself in my house, back in my life, and back in my children's arms. 

Before

After